Dear Sir...

Dear Sir...

I don't understand why anyone would get lined paper and not use the lines.

Only a real wank puffin would do this.

They wouldn't because this is fake.

Parking spots reserved for people with small children?? Fuck that shit

How would this person know the vehicle didn't have a child in it upon arrival?

I'm not an expert but it appears to mean approximately the same thing as 'bitch nugget', 'douche canoe', or 'fucking twat'

Also I don't give a shit if you have kids. I'll park where I want just not in a handicap spot.

God this was cringey. What kind of person goes out of their way by this much, insults a person repeatedly, and wastes more time than they would have spared from parking in that dumb spot, just to get a mild justice chub

I doubt they're enforceable anywhere in the country.

Kids is a choice, not a right. Fuck you and your kids. You all probably need the exercise.

Seriously, who's the real asshole here?

they arent enforceable in California‚Äč...

My friend, having a kid shouldn't give a person preferred parking. Don't have anything else to say.

I actually love kids but agree with you. Why do parents need special parking?

And anyway everybody knows that cart corral adjacent spaces are the best ones.

Having children (which is a choice, last I heard) is not a protected class. A disability (generally not a choice) provides handicapped parking, protected by law. Kids...not protected parking. Handicapped...protected parking.

Thank you! Also I wish I could upvote you twice for reminding me of the term "douche canoe"

Dear Matt,

You spent quite a while on that note. You even drew silly pictures. Perhaps you should focus on your adopted child and teach them a lesson in not sweating the insignificant.


Mr. Wank-Puffin Esq.

Can someone please translate "Wank puffin"? I have never heard this before and I feel like I've missed out.

I'm confused why any place would have designated parking for parents and children in the first place. As a childless person, this offends me.

I'm pretty sure this is a fake made on a computer.

Unless Matt's kid is handicapped, I think he's overreacting. By a wide margin.


Frowned upon and illegal are two very different things..

Do the words "wank puffin" and "Ford Mondeo" not tell you that this probably wasn't from the US?

I got small kids, I don't think I deserve any special parking spot. That's the dumbest thing I ever heard

If Matt's kid was handicapped, he'd be able to park in handicapped spaces and wouldn't be fussed about the parent and child spaces.

That's why I never pay attention to them and park there anyway.

And thats why I make it a point to park in one any chance I get. Its completely ridiculous. You made the choice to have children, now deal with it like everyone else does.

They put these in Utah, I park in them, just because you fucked doesn't mean you get a better space

No I think this guy is really on to something. I mean it's called a fucking child lock for a reason. And why is a 4 year old in a car seat getting themselves out of the car in the first place? So they can run out in traffic or some shit because they can't pay attention? Lots of reasons here why simply using a child lock could prevent a lot of hassle.

Edit- although I personally don't park in the parent with kids spots I can see where he's coming from. We got along fine back in the day without them. I won't use them, but if the store is incredibly packed and there are few spaces left, I very well might consider it.

I'm a Vet and I wouldn't even go that far. Definitely not for Parents,.. Wtf? you duplicated yourself like 79% of the planet who gives a fuck? Your kids probably need the exercise as it stands.

The only time I'm willing to push extra for parents, is at the Hospital, if I'm injured, and there is a 7 year old equally injured, yeah I'll let the kid go first. Other than that fuck off.

In terms of parking, old people and fucked-up people, I got you. Everybody else, welcome to not getting extra like the rest of us room.


Wait is not having kids selfish now? I thought not having kids was actually one of the best things you can do for the environment?

I need room to open the door too. I'm bigger than most kids.

Did it for ya

I got a lil nasty on that one. Round here, lots of parents that believe they deserve a round of applause.

Naaaawwwh that can't be! That's a totally understandable way to write on lined paper, and just look at those stick figures! They weren't drawn in paint to look like it was done by hand or anything at all!

You are a gentleman/lady and a scholar

Im not parking a 5 minute walk from the doors when they get to park next to them for making the choice to have kids.

I invested a lot of time, money and effort in making it to 32 with no kids, I really dont give a fuck how selfish I look, I Am! Thats why Im like "Kids or sports cars.... hmmmm." Wheres the double wide space for the childless so we can open coupe doors like a boss.

I parked in one of those spaces once because Id spent 5 minutes looking for a park already and someone gave me a mouthful about not having kids.

"I parked here for the same reason I dont have kids, Im selfish and arrogant" and I walked off.

I read this in an American accent until wank-puffin and then the voice got cartoonishly British.

The last guy to call me wank-puffin was murdered in his sleep

In Australia some of our shopping centres have pram parking, which are just slightly wider spots so parents manage prams more easily. Not a terrible idea if it results in less scratches to other peoples cars.

Prop 65 clearly states that children are known to the state of California to cause cancer. Not relevant but they put it on everything now

Ahem... you're.

The writing photoshopped over the lined paper.

I doubt that one. I would question real legal enforceability of maternity parking and parking for people with kids.

It is not that difficult to get around with small kids.

Your the only person on reddit who doesnt assume everyone is male...

Only dick here is the author of that passive-aggressive inane bullshit.

Watched them park? Its not like they watched them leave, because if they did why bother writing the letter.

What? No parking for the blind?

Shopping center near me has a few veteran spaces-I think if you aren't a vet and park in one of those you're a douche. I've got kids and I don't feel like we need a special space to park, I gave birth to humans just like most of the human race does... nothing extraordinary

Expectant mother parking, though, I can't pretend not to love that one. When you're nine months pregnant with 8lbs of human squishing your organs and weighing on your hip's kind of nice not to have to waddle as far.

Home Depots around here have a bunch of different reserved spots. There is one near me that has spots for each of these; purple heart recipients, expecting mothers, contractors, elderly, and I think military personnel

Spots for the handicapped. Spots for mothers. Spots for expecting mothers. Spots for green vehicles. Spots for compact vehicles. Spots for contractors. Spots for parents with kids.

Fuck all that and Matt can go sit on a dick. The only legit reserved spot is the handicap one.

I had to look up a Ford Mondeo. What's wrong with personalizing your license plate on specific cars?...

I never seen these spaces but they sound stupid. Kids can get some exercise and walk. This is why we have so many obese kids in the US.

That's not an excuse to have reserved parking.

Learn to park with everyone else, we're trying to teach our kids to integrate into society, not cordon them off in their own little playpen forever.

And anyway everybody knows that cart corral adjacent spaces are the best ones.

Because you like the increased risk of people scratching your paint? I stay away from those spots.

I've been burned on that before. Never again.

"Wank puffin" is way better than "douche canoe." Also, easily modified at breakfast. "Wow. Dank muffin, you wank-puffin."

Yeah, i'm confused, why do children and parents with children get special parking? That seems kinda fucked, unless this is some kind of elementary school drop off situation. I shouldn't have to walk farther simply because I didn't crap a baby out of me.

Wank-puffin? Is that a Brit thing?

The handwriting and drawings are too perfect. It's 100% proportional to itself, but doesn't match the lines on the paper


Whoever wrote this letter is the real asshole here

Then maybe you should engage the child lock feature of your vehicle and not let a child so obviously incapable of simple acts such as not opening the door into another car to do so.

Fuck this guy. Unless it is handicapped parking, thosr family and small kid spots are only a convenience.

Show me the vehicle code that makes it a law, then you can write all the notes you want.

Not even a full day.

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title points age /r/ comnts Parental Advisory B 165 1dy funny 45

Source: karmadecay (B = bigger)

Yeah this is extremely confusing. TBH the guy writing the note seems like the asshole, he takes all this time to insult the guy with a long winded and kinda nonsensical note instead of just moving on with his life. Nothing wrong with knowing what you want license plate wise.

I never thought of this spaces being for ambulatory kids, but for parents who have to carry view obstructing babies, carry heavy carriers or push cumbersome strollers. I usually only see them in places like toys r us or other kid/parent focused businesses.

Once my kid could walk I started parking as far away as possible so I could take my time getting loaded and unloaded and burn a little extra energy on the walk to and from the store.

Yes, those are everywhere - handicap.

Because kids are fucking suicidle. It's a nice plus when your kids don't kick the door open and smash into other people's cars also.

Passive aggressive cry baby.

In all fairness it has a high quality of forgery if it was drawn digitally, it would of been a lot easier to draw it out and photograph it.

I don't think legality has been questioned here but yes, if illegal I would obey the ridiculous law.

Green parking? Maternity parking? Reserved parking? Fire lane? Motorcycle parking? Large vehicle parking? In the water at a dock? Where do they fall for you, or is the world your parking spot as long as it isn't handicapped only?

I have a small child. We don't need a "special" parking spot. I didn't even know such a thing existed.

Enforceable how? And by whom?

Parking enforcement in the UK is a fucking joke. People in car parks frequently park wherever the fuck they like, and there's nothing done about it.

Wider bays make sure my 'little angel' don't slam the doors pen into yours when m getting them out the car.

Or you could try being a parent and teaching them what is and isn't appropriate behavior in such situations.

most parents are disabled

I don't think you live in the same world as the rest of us.

Whereas you're a child-loving whiny bitch. Not much better, to be honest.

Let him know that the vast majority of people want to burn him at the stake.

Well all of them do have at least 1 parasite..

Wouldn't being military personnel mean that you are capable of walking further distances than civilians? Js.

It's fake

Cut it open and show everyone, naturally.

As a parent I want to chime in

Wider bays make sure my 'little angel' don't slam the doors pen into yours when m getting them out the car.

Closer bays to the store! Fuck that, stick the bays where you want, most parents arent disabled, they can use handicapped bays if they are.

My wife is both, we park where the fuck we want.

In the US (at least where I am), they're just normal spots with a sign. They're purely for marketing.

why the fuck would parents with small children get special parking spaces? your crotch fruit is neither my fault nor my problem. go fuck yourself.

Which country? I imagine this is in the UK where the bays are a lot smaller and it's hard to reach in to unbuckle a child in a regular bay.

Also yes, they are enforceable in the UK.

most parents are disabled

Exactly what I was thinking. We have them where I live and they take up rows of the best parks. Just coz someone decides to shit out a bunch of rug rats, why does that entitle them, and therefore deprive me, of the best spots. I'll be in and out of the shop a lot faster than they will be, freeing it up a lot sooner! You choose to have the little noise monsters, deal with it! Edit a word

It's a combination of the word wank, which means both the verb to masturbate and the noun for masturbation it's self and the word puffin, which a medium sized bird.

That was a very good joke.

I'm with you homie.

Nobody reads em just picks em off the windshield and crumple em up like a flyer.

Yea theres a difference between people who have trouble or pain walking, and people who have 3 kids and they all have short attention spans and one needs a stroller.

Lol, screw this guy and his parking spot. Why the hell should anyone care about that kind of parking spot?

If they do, parents should have to pay. They should watch their kids. I never hit anyone's car as a kid with my car door, they can make sure their kids don't.