Kangaroo playing with his balls (literally)

Kangaroo playing with his balls (literally)

Everybody's just minding their business like this is a normal occurence

Dave Chappelle told me the best course of action when someone masturbates in public is to not give them attention.

People think I'm weird that I'm fascinated so much by animal genitals but they're so varied I don't see how anyone else could not be fascinated by them. "Stop showing us your animal genital scrapbook every time I come over," my friends always say, but none of them have even seen the marsupial chapter yet D:

https://media.giphy.com/media/pg8rskNlXdzr2/giphy.gif

We have an Australian themed restaurant in the US called Outback. They sell American food with fake Australian names.

Yes.  

And the females have three vaginas. Two for sex, one for giving birth.  

Because of the two sex vags, males have two-pronged penises.

Yes.

And the females have . Two for sex, one for giving birth.

Because of the two sex vags, males have two-pronged penises.

We have a bar in Denmark called "the Australian bar" which got this gif running on their tv in their entrance.

"Well look at you go buddy! You've really got this down to a science!"

Are his balls above his dick?

One day I want to try giving them too much attention until it weirds them out.

Jesus.

In Australia in most national parks and even some regular picnic areas kangaroos are a regular occurance just dont square up to a male or you will get fucked up

And it's delicious. I absolutely destroy a bloomin' onion every time I go there, IDGAF about the gimmick.

You've got to lead with the weird stuff to get 'em hooked, dude. Start with the kangaroo, leading into the corkscrew duck dick.

Is this a joke why are people just walking around as if a kangaroo sitting there is normal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIRT7lf8byw&t=0m30s

Just bring this guy.

I usually tip for good technique. Makes their ending happier.

You said it man.

It's a vegetable so it's healthy.

thumb down the shaft

What are you, a fucking caveman?

I'll spare most of the details. The hyena penis is not a penis. Nor is it on the male

I want to google hyena penis now but I also don't want to google hyena penis

i am not going to fuck with a roo that fondles his balls so nonchalantly

It is called a Psuedo Penis. No joke. When she gives birth that fucker splits open. It rends her loins in twain bro.

The best way to get the right answer is to post the wrong one on the internet.

It's his tail. It doubles as his penis.

Hey, different strokes for different folks.

Wallaby damned. I bet he roo'd the day he fucked with that man's dog

2000 calories of delicious!

What? You can't just say some shit like that and not clarify. Like, what are you doing to me here bro...

And don't even get me started on hyenas

Gotta see if they're a thumb across or thumb alongside the shaft kind of guy.

Edit: alongside shaft, not down

Eight year olds, dude.

Southern Hemisphere.

Actually, a kangaroo's penis is beneath the testicles.

Pro tip:

Different strokes for the same folk.

Variety is the spice of life!

And it came back to the guy's house and smashes himself against the glass, trying to get in?!

That was some I Am Legend status BS.

Screw Spider Island.

TIL /u/doubledickdude is a kangaroo

Should repost this to /sub/holdthemoan

/u/Saint_Justice it worked bro

Yes

and yes I know I've posted this earlier in the thead, but I was the one who had to look it up because NOBODY else was. I had to find it SO LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT HIS PEENISSSSS!!!

and yes I know I've posted this earlier in the thead, but I was the one who had to look it up because NOBODY else was. I had to find it SO LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT HIS PEENISSSSS!!!

Kangaroo Jack took it hard after his movie career plummeted

I scritch my nads that aggressively in the comfort of my own home. I see he's in the outdoors, which is his home. So it's fine.

the batter and the oil is part of the vegetable

I'd mind my own business too. Besides what are you going to say?

I ride the DC metro every day and have seen a number of subway pocket pool players in my time. Some were trying to be discrete, some were the sick pervs who like when it's crowded so they can "accidentally" bump or rub into a person's butt and chest, but probably half just whipped it out and went for it. I think most of them were drunk and/or high. In any event I have serious doubt that if I got up close to them and minded their business with commentary and maybe some laughing and pointing they would find this less encouraging, in fact, I'll bet it would get them off even more. It takes a certain kind of person to do this in public, I doubt it would be the type that would be bothered by people noticing.

😎

Sometimes they are itchy.

Edit: I'm just relieved that this isn't my highest rated comment.

It's like Thailand. The lady's have the d's.

The kangaroo is scratching his nuts, not wanking.

He's just airing them out. It's probably a hot day and they were a bit sweaty and sticking to the side of his leg. We've all done it.

In Australia, things are upside down.

Kangaroo kicking each other in the balls. (literally)

I bet it's a pain having to get an adapter when you're abroad.

This is what you do if you ever find yourself in a dangerous neighborhood. People won't mess with you.

Damn nature, you crazy.

A dangerous game, when your paws have claws...

I suspect someone who's comfortable masturbating in public would also be comfortable masturbating someone else in public. Joke's on you, my friend. :(

They only attack stupid humans just dont approach them and if they come near you try and seem as least threatening as possible also dont feed them and you should be fine

All this pressure of acting normal around animals that potentially could rip me open would cause me to fuck up somehow. Thank god Australia is a made up upside down land of killer animals.

Yeah, and no one wants to be the one that escalates it to violent masturbation.

How...how...how did you get the beans above the frank?

in TWAIN?!?

I feel like I should chime in here at some point.

Yes, Kangaroos have their testicles above their penises.

Bonus fact: Kangaroo penises are forked, and the females have 3 vaginas.

Put your arm around him, "me next?"

Nature is fucking brutal, man. Imagine if human women had bigger dicks than the men and that shit ripped in half during birth. Everyday at hospitals shit would be playing out like hentai futanari horror porn

More like /sub/unashamed

Good

It does get pretty hot down under

Where's his kangaroo willy?

Petterass.

To shreds you say?

Don't forget the vegetable oil!

If my balls were above my penis I'd have some fun too. Imagine the possibilities!

I can't tell if this is Kangaroo Facts or made up facts

Holy fucking shit you're right

Oh god the logo is fucking amazing, too

The Icelandic Phallological Museum contains a collection of more than two hundred and fifteen penises and penile parts

I love that they went out of their way to bold that part

How many more than 215? Is it less than 220?

including specimens from Homo Sapiens

Somehow I find this the most amusing.

"Well, Jorvik, we've got damn near every Icelandic animal penis up in here. What now?"

" ... Now, we go after the deadliest penis. MAN."

Two days later

"Best we can do is a 3-incher off some Chinese fella who died ."

"Eh, put it next to the squirrel scrote to make it look bigger."

(Seriously though I will definitely hit this place up if I ever go to Iceland)

EDIT: Holy shit nevermind this is the best thing I've read in a long time:

HISTORY OF THE MUSEUM IN THE FOUNDERS OWN WORDS

The foundation was laid in 1974 when I got a pizzle or a bull‘s penis. As a child, I was sent into the countryside during summer vacations and there I was given a pizzle as a whip for the animals. At that time in 1974 I was living in the town of Akranes on the southwest coast, working as the headmaster in a secondary school. Some of my teachers used to work in summer in a nearby whaling station and after the first specimen, they started bringing me whale penises, supposedly to tease me. Then the idea came up gradually that it might be interesting collecting specimens from more mammalian species.

Dude discovered his passion for animal wieners after being gifted a strange variety of them. More power to him, I think it's awesome, but goddamn it's also fucking hilarious

Dane here. The Aussie influence on "The Australian Bar" (which is a chain) is basically limited to imagery of boomerangs, kangaroos, koalas and the likes. It's a disgrace, I mean just look at the website. They don't even serve goon.

When in Rome...

Omg I did not know they had claws that fucking big.

Sounds cool. We have Irish themed bars here in Australia, I never really thought of an "Australian bar".

Something tells me that a guy who jerks it in public isn't very easy to weird out.

Nobody fucks with the Jesus!

No no, you have to go the other route with it. Give his junk a weird stare and then start talking about how he should get that bump there checked out, then get up and go over and be like 'no no that bump right there dude. you need to have a doctor look at that. that's cancer, i know it is. trust me, i stayed at a holiday inn.'

I usually pinch and roll

Yea, In Australia they have these kinda nature park/parks where there are free to use barbeque stands etc. Lotta times there are animals wandering around, those kangaroos are probably fed a lot and super used to humans.

I fear they would turn violent

Clearly this Kangaroo is more of a rake scratcher, while I personally am more of a pinch and roll guy!

Probably just focused on it's own reflection.

Then the pigs ungodly long orgasms?

As long as the kangaroos don't choke out their dog, people don't pay attention to them.

If you're ever in iceland, they have a phallological museum.

This isn't exactly relevant but I just want to say they have an amazing giftshop. Yes, everything is a dick.

sigh unzips

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Well they can disembowel you, but kangaroos are generally pretty chill. The just lounge around or play with their balls.

I wouldn't sneak up on one, or try and pick a fight though.

AND high volume of semen and corkscrew dick. Pigs, man.

Free handy in the park

Kangaroos are generally pretty chill. Some of the larger male Kangaroos are dangerous around mating season but you'd have to go out of your way to piss one off

As opposed to figuratively playing with his balls?