Meanwhile in Glasgow...

Meanwhile in Glasgow...

dat neck flop

"This pigeon is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late pigeon. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-pigeon."

bird hearts beat pretty fast, i don't think she has the right compression rhythm for bird CPR at all. and don't even get me started on bird law...

Disgusting but sweet, she was trying to save it. That head flop at the end though

I feel bad for that bird but goddamn that was so funny I couldn't stop laughing

Not to mention a birds lungs aren't going to hold anywhere near the same volume as hers. Unless she was trying to inflate a curiously lifelike bird balloon she's gone about this entirely the wrong way.

Points for the attempt though.

She's putting her mouth directly on the flying rat.

Kisses anyone?

When I took CPR class the first time, I did a great job... on the adult dummy. Then I did the infant dummy and exploded its lung. It was a really loud pop and everyone looked at me like it was a live baby.

Ever since then I've lived in fear I'll have to perform CPR on some random stupid baby.

No, no. It's resting.


It is the moment she realizes she is blowing into a dead bird.

Yeah, it's a bit nasty but I love this woman for having such a caring heart that she'd give mouth to mouth to a pigeon.

With breaths that long i bet she popped the lungs.

I mean, you could just stand by and watch the baby die.

Wait... that just sounds wrong.

Perhaps, but then again avian respiration isn't the same as mammalian. Birds don't take breaths the same way mammals do; they have air bladders all up and down their body that "store" breaths of air before the lungs draw the air. All the air sacs at the rear of the bird have to be filled before the lungs can do their job.

Better than having everyone stare at you when they hear that loud pop.

It's pining for the fjords.

Beautiful plumage


What a heart-breakingly stupid, heart-breakingly kind woman.

Tbh when I saw "Meanwhile in Glasgow" at the top of reddit I expected far, far worse than some daftie trying to blowstart a pidgeon.

Worst. Bagpipe. Ever.

damn i thought she was gonna revive it

I've gotten worse sloppy seconds than that.

Lmao, that was fucking comedic, I was expecting this loon to revive the bird and the bird would fly away.

yeah it's weird as fuck but I couldn't help but feel "aw" with the little head flop after she tried so hard lol

I'm a little softie I guess. This video is sweet and sad for me.

Your life as a redditor has been fulfilled. You may rest easy now

I'm trying to pin down why it's so funny.

It's like, wow she's some kind of shamanic hea... Nope she's retarded.

So did she.

You would think with a username like that you'd be all over bird anatomy.

Nah, she's just trying to publicly make out with a dead pigeon. When else are you gonna have the opportunity to experience necrophilia, zoophilia, and exhibitionism all at once?

That loud pop could be the condition known as "sticky-lung". In certain situations the lung (it's almost always just one side, not both), becomes compressed and then sticks together. It's not the same thing as a collapsed lung...this is a unique and some-what rare occurrence where the lung compresses, sticks, and then creates a vacuum. The proper way to administer first aid in this situation is to expand the lung and release the air pocket/vacuum by blowing very hard into the mouth. Another approach, if in a dire situation, is to bust a Bic pen tube into the chest cavity like that epi-pen shit in Pulp Fiction. When the vacuum is released, the loud pop occurs. And if you're ever the person that performs this life saving procedure, you'll probably receive applause, and not stares, from everyone that witnesses the event. You'll be a hero, and rightfully so, but don’t let this distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table.

Huh...TIL. Thanks

You think you can go toe to toe with me on bird law?

I had a pet cockatoo for about 2 decades. One days it was making an odd squawking sound (she would do it often for attention, but this time it seemed more distressed).

I ran to her cage and she was on the bottom flapping her wings. Right when I grab her, she suddenly went limp. I actually tried to give her CPR just like in this video. The head flop really made me sad since that was the exact same outcome.

What made it worse is that I'd never keep her on a cage, but we were evacuating bc of a flood/storm and I had to buy a travel sized cage for her to stay in the car since it would be 12hrs of traffic. I left her in the cage for like 1hr when we got back, while we were checking on the house and relaxing a bit from the drive, when it occurred. They can live up to 70-80yrs in captivity, so she dies very young.

I think she got a heart attack or maybe bit by some insect. She was a good bird.

She's a magician. Turns any random bird into a puffer

Well I think it's more effective now... but when I was an EMT I think CPR success rate was about 10%.

It really is not as effective as people think... it's just better than doing nothing because it at least works slightly more often. Just... not much more often.


Initially the video stalled after a couple seconds, I thought she had gnawed it's head off...WTF!

Oh,wait, Ahh...Mouth to mouth resusatation on a dead pigeon, oh, ok. That's very.. uh.. giving of her.

I feel bad for her. She was only trying to help!

Well it's Glasgow so she probably took it home and ate it.

I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

we get it! she vapes!

Do you want to be patient zero? Because this is how you become patient zero.

Blowstart 😂

Yeah, bless her heart

The bird law in this country, it's not governed by reason

Holy shit and almost 4 years in the making.

"Stayin' alive, stayin' alive"

I see you just came back from the orgy at OP's mom's, too.

Considering the neck flop, my guess is it hit a window and broke its neck, thus dying. I just don't understand how she thought giving it CPR would fix that... She have some Popsicle sticks and tape too?

Soo blow through the butthole?

Why is this labelled NSFW..

"First I was afraid, I was petrified..."


Reminds me of

He's all over their anatomy, but he has no idea how any of it works.

He said sloppy seconds not the international bank of Fort Cum Knox.

Pretty bird...

When else are you gonna have the opportunity to experience necrophilia, zoophilia, and exhibitionism all at once?

You'd be surprised how many answers this question has.

Been there dude, came home from work after a surprise double shift at a popular cheeseburger franchise, found my mom face down at the kitchen table with a pencil in her hand, doing sudoku I guess on our small town local paper, no cell phones back then, I dialed 911 on the cordless and put it on speaker phone, pulled her back tipping the chair to get into some kind of CPR position, chair was in the way and neck was flopping all over the place, like it was awkward to pull her out of the chair off the floor so I was just going at it with the chair in the way, flop flop flop every time I pulled back to take a breath, didn't matter none, apparently I was 8 hours too late.

Edit: Lol, whenever people are lighthearted about death and I'm drunk I like to take it farther with some kind of sick weird nonjoke, dry dark humor on /sub/wtf that doesn't read well in a comment, sorry if anyone got sad :D

They are all good birds. I'm sorry for your loss.

am I an awful person for LOL when the pigeon's head flopped over?

I read hundreds of pages of this thread where all these medics, EMTs, paramedics etc were talking and telling stories and shit and one thing that really stuck with me was that if you really need CPR--you're not breathing after suffering some sort of terrible illness or injury--you're usually fucked.

Well I think it's more effective now... but when I was an EMT I think CPR success rate was about 10%.

where are you getting this rate of success from? What is defined as succesful CPR? My understand is that the point is just to sustain basic like functions until an ambulance arrives that can do more. Reviving someone with CPR is a fluke, not the intent of it.

This woman clearly has a huge heart, because it is swollen from all the pigeon viruses and bacteria.

Last I heard you're just supposed to do chest compressions to the beat of Staying Alive by The Beegees. You can stop living in fear, now.

Edit: It seems Another One Bites the Dust by Queen is now the song to keep in mind.

Without EMTs using a defibrillator, he would have died. All I did was save his brain and other main organs from permanent damage awaiting the life saving device. He was dead otherwise. CPR is a useful skill all mortals should feel competent performing. 9:10 you'll save a loved one.



she had to have seen something happened to it. there's no way she just picks up a dead bird and starts in with that.

incredibly kind woman

I saved my husband with CPR. It's helpful if you're sufficiently aggressive. And lucky. We had to wait 15 minutes for EMTs.

That always gets my blood flowing

Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM!

What's worse is that she probably popped the things lungs by blowing full breathes like that, so even if it was still slightly alive, she made sure it died.

What is the matter with you? Is that the beak!?

I'm wondering what she did after she found out she couldn't save it. Did she bury it somewhere or just toss it back on the street?

They really are. People don't get how smart they are. Some species can form bonds with their owners equivalent to a dog.

It's... sweet that she tried... but damn.

That's what I call dedication

Super fucked.

Source: paramedic

VOOM? VOOM?! This parrot wouldn't "voom" if ya put four million volts through it!

Doesn't CPR stand for Carrier Pigeon Resuscitation?

Source : Am from Glasgow.

The Norwegian blue prefers to sleep on its back. Beautiful bird lovely plumage.

Stickylung is a major risk to infants between the ages of 0-6 mos. Its because their lung cells haven't fully yet achieved full amniotic suppression as a result of the 9 mos of gestation.

I don't know what these mothers get so upset about. You've only known the kid like six months. And you can make a replacement!

The long con.

They still have beaks, they just have sets of air sacs to better distribute the oxygen to the body/more efficiently cause of the flying and shit. I only learned the basics of bird respiratory system like 2 weeks ago in Bio 2, so that's as much as I got.

First I was afraid I was petrified...

Unfortunately I've had this as well, fentanyl overdose from a pressed "rosy" the usual dose was fine but she did the press and was out. I arrived with Chinese food to see what I thought was a dead person, no breath but heartbeat. I called paramedics and kept her head to the side to help her breath. Scared to death as the cops and medics arrived and hit her with narcan. Immediately brought her back not just from death but absolutely sober. Whoever invented that shit needs a nobel prize. Saved so many lives and families.

...thats horrifying.

You didnt hear? Decapitated. Whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird.

Since it was Glasgow I was trying to figure out what kind of drug she was taking right up until the headflop.

I take it that the Cardiopigeon resuscitation was not successful

What makes it funnier is that this scene was from 2006, when everyone was going crazy over avian bird flu.

Why is this NSFW, she's trying to help it, not blow it

you are just so bad, how could a human be so cruel?

From someone who didn't know him, and someone who doesn't know you, You did fucking right.

Just because it wasn't successful, doesn't mean there wasn't a chance it could have been. Even if it's just 1 in 10.

Thank you.

It has a shorter action than heroin. The buzz comes back after it wears off and a person could go back into respiratory arrest.


Not sure why I am being downvoted for facts:

I overdosed on heroin myself in 2011 and left the hospital against the doctors advice. He told me the narcan would wear off in 30-45 minutes and I would be in danger of falling back into respiratory arrest. I didn't go back into respiratory arrest but I was nodding out again after about 40 minutes.

Yeah I found it really sad!